Raphael Jose Martinez (konamicode) wrote,
Raphael Jose Martinez

What Is This Weariness That Waits For You (Shrug).

the new issue of my zine is done. im really proud of it. i think its the best so far. after doing this thing for almost a year now, the contributions arent as steady (thank god for matt and eric doing a comic for it every fucking time), so theres a lot more of my writing in it. and im kind of happy about that. i like writing. i miss it. ive been so wrapped up in music for the past 5 years or so that ive really neglected writing. at least anything more than lyrics. its not as if i dont want any more contributions, im just comfortable in not having them.

ive been not going out even more lately. missing shows, parties, hanging out. whatever. im making an effort to do things that i want to do in a way i want to do them. its nice, and im content. ive just got to stop eating so much. whenever im sitting around the house ill eventually make my way to the kitchen and whip something up. i like the challenge of making a delicious meal with only the bare minimum of stuff we have. im a good cook and i like to excersise that. unfortunately i dont like to actually excersise, so therein lies the problem.

and you wanna whats weird? i think i might have a crush or two.
yeah. i know. crazy.
i havent crushed on someone in a long time. and in all honesty, i didnt really crush on megan until after we started seeing each other (which was rather right away). there wasnt really time for the butterfly nervous glance crushing. nor room for it, considering she lived in LA at the time. none of that i-hope-shell-be-there-when-im-there-and-i-can-make-a-sorry-excuse-to-talk-to her kind of thing.

i think ive got that going on right now. but im not sure. i used to be a serial-crusher, but its been a long time. then again, maybe i dont. im not sure.

regardless, im simply delighted at the prospect.
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